By Lisa Sugarman
I love snow. And I refuse to apologize for that. Even though my yard is buried under almost 100 inches of it and I’m not entirely sure what grass really looks like anymore, I’m still a fan. It’s fluffy; it makes everything look pretty; you can ski on it; and you can build stuff with it. I could go on, but I won’t because someone’s gonna egg my house.
The thing is, around New England, my love of this much snow makes me sort of an anomaly. See, those of us in and around the Boston area have been living in a brave new snow-encased world since early January—a world that looks and feels an awful lot like Fargo, North Dakota, and doesn’t allow for doing much of, well, anything. And since I’m one of the few people living here who actually likes it, I’m sort of a black sheep.
Look, I get it. The insane amount of snow we’ve gotten over the last six weeks has changed the way we all live and I’d be an idiot not to acknowledge it. People are tripling their commute time, fighting over parking spots, and praying their roofs hold. The new normal is going to sleep as a blizzard rolls in and waking up to shovel off your roof and hang pantyhose with ice melt over your gutters. (Not a good look, by the way.)
I mean, we’ve had six school cancellations in like six weeks. Which just doesn’t happen. Or at least it never has. We’ve been in a constant State of Emergency week after week, measuring our daily snowfall totals in feet instead of inches. And that much of anything messes with a person’s psyche. Especially when it just keeps coming over and over and over again.
Now we all know that Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a real thing, but this winter, at least at my end of the country, we’ve coined a whole new term. Up here, in the northeast, we’ve got Snow Affective Disorder (also, coincidentally, known as SAD). And people have got it BAD. (Ok, maybe I just made it up, but it’ll catch on, trust me.)
And this disorder, for lack of a better word, has gripped some people so hard around the throat that they’re barely able to take a breath anymore. That’s because pipes are bursting, roofs are leaking, kids are imploding, tempers are flaring, and wits are ending, at such an alarming rate that people just can’t keep up.
So I’m obviously not here trying to convince you why you should love snow. It’s a personal choice and I don’t believe in proselytizing. And the amount of snow we’re dealing with around here is beyond anyone’s comprehension. Even mine. Instead, though, what I am trying to do is remind everyone who’s feeling buried alive and overwhelmed by whiteness that eventually the snow will go away. The ice dams will melt, color will come back to the world, and every coat we own won’t be smeared with road salt dust.
The thing is, none of us has any control over Mother Nature. What the crazy bitch does, and to what degree, is entirely up to her. We’re all powerless. So there’s really no point in stewing over it because it’s out of our hands.
That being said, what should you do when you’re overwhelmed by something negative that you really can’t control? Find the positive side and start focusing in on that. So that’s what we’re going to do.
Here are ten things to remember as we survive the rest of winter:
- The official start of spring is less than three weeks away—about the same amount of time the average pedicure lasts.
- Snow just doesn’t fall in the summer. Period.
- As long as the earth keeps orbiting (and I feel pretty confident it will), we’ll eventually spin ourselves into spring.
- Without any snow to shovel, we’ll all have so much more free time.
- Thanks to all the shoveling you did this winter, your arms are going to look jacked in your tank tops.
- When the snow eventually melts and the roads return to their normal size, it’ll feel like every road is a four-lane highway.
- Once spring comes and colors come back to the world, you don’t even have to think about the color white for at least another six months.
- With all the money you saved from not being able to leave your house all winter, you’ll have a huge spring wardrobe fund.
- You still have enough time left indoors to binge watch at least one series on Netflix.
- That first spring pedicure is gonna feel better than sex.
And when it’s all finally said and done, your memory of the Winter of 2015 will be just like the memory you have of childbirth or knee surgery or a bad break up…you’ll forget about how much it hurt and you’ll just have a distant, painless memory. Because eventually, this too shall pass.